The end is near...

The end of year that is.  And it's so easy to be lazy.  And the lazier I am, the easier it is to get lost and be unable to see the light at the end of the tunnel.  On my way to work today, I was thinking that it's been a long year for me.  Lots of training and lots of good races.  Also, lots of mountains and lots of trail running miles (if you have questions, scroll down and you'll see).  And well, given the fact that I've been busy with all sorts of stuff on my calendar, I'm finally tired.  "Well," I thought, "the year is almost over..." As if my body knew that January 1st is the day to press the RESET button and all of a sudden I'll feel all better.  No, my body does not know it's a whole new year.  It's all in my head.

For the past 10 months, I've been busy training and with work.  Training got crazy at one point and work got busy and overwhelming, but two weeks ago, everything slowed down.  I completed the San Francisco Marathon mid-October and I got the runner's high having completed my 10th and fastest marathon yet, and also, got back to a couple busy weeks at work.  Come November, everything changed.  I had completed my best season ever and work had calmed down (looks at my 2012 results page on the left).  Now what?  Life is no longer exciting.  I've been apathetic about life and not really caring about anything.

In my head, I desperately want to work out, but I'm having a hard time getting anything done.  I wake up late to go to work. I go to work, come home and go to bed early. It's lame. I'm lame.  Is there a switch in my head that can be turned off so I can rest physically and mentally for one day?  And maybe tomorrow can be January 1st?  That'd be nice.  My body needs a January 1st.

It's not the first time I've hit a low point... but again, look at my 2012 results page, but this time REALLY look at it.  It's the results of a rockstar.  Ok, maybe I didn't WIN anything, but seriously?  How can I get in my head that my accomplishments are AWESOME?  Why is it that those don't look like enough to me...? Why is it that I feel sad about it being over?  Why is it that I can't get my lazy ass out the door for a quick run, a quick ride, a quick swim.  A hike?  That's too much work.

Today I realized, that as much as I wanted to fight it, I reached the "end of season blues". And my poor man-friend is the one that has to deal with my crazy mood swings and my insecurities.  Trying to remember how I dealt with it last year... but truth is, I didn't.  I sat and did nothing, and gained 20lbs and got going again on January 1st and learned that starting from scratch SUCKS.  Does anyone out there has some piece of advice?

My thoughts (and initial goals) are: to workout at least 20 minutes every day. If I'm feeling better, then go out longer workouts following the coach's plan. But if my schedule looks overwhelming, do what he'd like me to do, but shorter.  Until I get back in the game.

And for now, I'm off to bed.  Tomorrow's Friday and that's a great thing (I'll make my body believe that it's Monday and we gotta start a new routine!)